Reflections

I have nothing to hide. I live my life so clear that judging me only reveals your fears.

I believe that there are two ways of looking at life- live like its destiny or go ahead and do something about it. exactly which one is true or which one works is yet to be understood. Everyday I live both sides, well as per my convenience.Whichever gives me peace of mind. But this is one question that I have asked myself over and over again. Having witnessed power of both I cant deny either of the theories. Neither can I follow either one of the two.I dont know if most of the life that I have lived, the choises that I have made,the deeds that I have done are done because I was destined to do them? was I delibrately chartered towards certain circumstances that make me make the choices that I do? Or was it a conscious decision? Am I living my life the way I do because this is what I want? But a lot of things in my life that I dont want, all the pain and hurt, all the longing and suffering. I didnt make it. Neither did i choose it. Then what brings me where I am? over a period of time

Oh why does it hurt so much? It never ceases to pain The lump in my throat that never fades away Tensed my muscles so tired of being alert fear that clutches on to them gnaws at the core loneliness that I drain in chills my bones O blackened tired eyes Just how much can you cry? looking at the empty road ahead even the lashes seem heavy to bear Of thoughts that forever spin like a record set on loop I question this pain and its neverending affair with the heart.

Mind in some other time zone Waiting for the night to dawn on me I will sleep another day... When the rays of the sun start cutting in the eyelids refuse to budge Trail of tears start pouring- Protesting in return Dead weight of my lifeless body Caves in An aching heart pulls strings of love but no amount of cajoling pumps life to the dead cells. The snooze button does what nature could not Fear- Kick starts my day

cold winds of time that envelop my heart freezes the core stiffens in stance I wonder how the warm tears flowing down my cheek dont reach there and melt the cast the laugh lines on my skin remind of a time when a smile was the easiest to come the algae of sadness that veils my colourful vision wait for the cheeks to rise up and kiss them with life